Firing People with Empathy: It Starts with a Conversation (Part 1)
A discussion about how to properly navigate employee terminations with accountability.
Part One > 📌 You are here.
In the dynamic realm of leadership, challenging choices occasionally arise, such as employee terminations. Yet, what many leaders grapple with is their own apprehension and uncertainty when navigating these circumstances. These moments of uncertainty can make the process of terminating employees a complex and daunting task. This comprehensive, 4-part guide aims to provide leaders with effective strategies for handling such situations empathetically and decisively. We’ll delve into the art of managing employee terminations with poise and illuminating how this approach can reshape the outcome for all parties involved.
Last month I was grabbing coffee with a founder that was having issues with an employee. After digging in, it turned out these issues have been going on for over a year and it was tied to both performance and behavior. I asked what was holding him back from parting ways with the individual? After a long pause he leaned over and whispered “How do I do it?”
Firing people sucks. Even leaders who have done it before make mistakes in the process as things can get emotional super fast. This post discusses how to fire people with empathy as well as follow a process to keep things as HR compliant as possible.
To do that I’ve brought in David Hogan, founder at Throne Consulting, to help provide an HR perspective tied to my perspective as a business leader.
Let’s dive in.
Disclaimer
While this series provides insights, it's essential to seek professional guidance before making termination decisions. Consulting with HR professionals and legal counsel ensures that terminations align with ethical and legal standards.
Here’s what David had to say.
Sharing My Journey: A Multifaceted Perspective
A little background about myself as we kick off this blog series. I’ve spent nearly 26 years supporting Fortune 500 companies and startups, and I’ve been helping teams make decisions about whether to attempt to “save” an employee who’s having performance issues or to terminate them. In just about every circumstance, the decision to part ways with an employee is the last resort. I’ve also been in the position of controlling “rogue” executives who try to terminate an employee without following the typical processes to protect the company, so I can see these instances from multiple perspectives.
I can very vividly remember the first termination I had to do when supporting PeopleOps teams, and I’ll never forget how I felt. There was a pit in the bottom of my stomach and when I was done, I was so upset about it that my HR director pulled me aside and told me a piece of advice I’ve never forgotten. She said “David, companies don’t fire people, instead people fire themselves. They’ve typically not followed the rules or taken the time to ask about whether they should do something, and the company decided that the infraction wasn’t something they could look past due to liability.”
Yes, it’s true that HR people get a bad reputation, and it’s also true that there are HR professionals who don’t act legally or ethically when it comes to handling employee issues, but as someone who has been on the receiving end of that retaliation, I always promised myself when I entered the profession, I’d treat people with the same respect and dignity that I’d want to be treated with.
The Impact of Empathy on Employee Morale and Company Culture
Empathy isn't just a soft skill; it has a tangible impact on employee morale and the overall company culture. When employees witness their leaders handling terminations and resignations with empathy, it creates a sense of psychological safety. They feel valued, knowing that they work in an environment where their well-being is considered even during difficult times. As a result, employees are more likely to remain committed and engaged, leading to increased productivity and better team dynamics.
Moreover, empathetic firing can have a lasting effect on company culture. It sets the tone for how the organization deals with challenges and adversity. When handled appropriately, terminations can become opportunities for growth and learning, rather than sources of fear and anxiety.
The Consequences of Neglecting Empathy
On the other hand, firing without empathy can lead to severe consequences for both the terminated employee and the remaining team. A callous approach to terminations can instill fear among employees, causing a decline in their productivity and creativity. The morale of the team may plummet, as they become wary of their job security and the management's consideration for their well-being.
Moreover, a lack of empathy during terminations can damage the employer brand and company reputation. Word spreads quickly in the job market, and potential candidates may think twice before considering a position in an organization known for its unprofessional handling of terminations. This, in turn, can hamper the company's ability to attract top talent and retain skilled employees in the long run.
You don’t want your company to be known for handling terminations and resignations poorly.
Real-life examples and case studies illustrate the devastating impact of insensitive terminations on both individuals and organizations. Learning from these experiences is crucial in building a more compassionate and understanding approach to employee terminations.
Cultivating Empathy through Conversations
Any HR professional will tell you that a termination should be the absolute last resort, and you should take steps as a leader to identify areas for the employee’s improvement in an attempt to “save” them and get their performance back on track. If an employee isn’t performing or is having behavioral issues with the team, and you begin to have an inkling that it might not work out, start by addressing the topic head-on in your next 1:1.
“How are you feeling?”
Very early in my HR career, I grappled with how to get employees to open up and feel comfortable talking about their struggles, so I could identify ways to help. One day, while conducting an HR check-in with an employee, I decided to try something different and I simply asked “how are you feeling on a scale of 1-10?” She sat back in her chair, slightly stunned and said “what do you mean?” I followed up with the fact that we all face struggles in our personal and professional lives, and I was curious how she was feeling on a 1-10 scale when factoring all of that into consideration. Still looking puzzled, she said “nobody has ever asked me something that bluntly before. I guess I’d say I’m a 7.” The follow-up question is the most impactful. I said “ok, now what can I do to get you closer to a 10 on the scale?” Before I knew it, she was listing so many things that frustrated her, I struggled to keep up with her while trying to write in my notebook.
After our meeting, I immediately got to work, changing processes, speaking with her direct manager about the lack of support she was feeling as a new hire and discussing flexible work schedules with my boss, who just happened to be the CEO. When I followed up with her two months later and told her all the stuff I was able to mark off my list, she was again stunned and said something I’ll never forget: “I’ve worked in corporate America for 15 years, and I’ve never had someone actually ask what was bothering me and then take immediate action to fix it.” To this day, more than 25 years later, she and I still speak regularly and she tells me how much that interaction caused her to rethink the way she handles her 1-1 manager discussions.
The truth is that employees are looking for their manager to actively listen, hear their frustrations and, most importantly, take action to make life easier for them. You never know what people are going through. Start the conversation. Don’t be afraid to meet employees where they are and work hard to keep them happy and engaged. That’s what makes a good leader. It’s literally that simple.
If the ideas above don't work, what is the next logical step? Many leaders believe termination is that next step. Not so fast! The next step is clearly identifying the problem, writing it down, and creating a list of metrics for the employee to hit for them to not to be terminated. This is typically called the Performance Improvement Plan (PIP).
You provide a way for employees to right the ship and start to build your case so that if you do in fact need to go through a termination and there is any legal action then you can prove through documentation that you took the necessary steps.
In Part 2 of this series, we will delve into the role of performance management and feedback in the termination process, recognizing when termination is necessary and understanding a well thought out timeline if you realize termination is unavoidable. There’s even a helpful PIP handout!